To My Stinky Brother

Stinky Brother,

Yes, it's Christmas and we want to see you and  your sweet kiddies to give them their gifts. I understand that we saw you less than a week ago and it may be a shock to your system to see us again so soon. Please don't call me and basically ask if it's necessary to get together. I will be offended and tempted to do something nasty to the food you consume at my home.

As adults we have to remember it's not about us, it's about our kids (and their PRESENTS that I shopped for 4 months ago and are waiting under my tree).

Your Loving Sister


p.s. If the dear, sweet girl you married (and has birthed you three gor.ge.ous. babies) ever divorces you....we are soooo taking HER side.