Saturday, December 26, 2009

To My Stinky Brother

Stinky Brother,

Yes, it's Christmas and we want to see you and  your sweet kiddies to give them their gifts. I understand that we saw you less than a week ago and it may be a shock to your system to see us again so soon. Please don't call me and basically ask if it's necessary to get together. I will be offended and tempted to do something nasty to the food you consume at my home.

As adults we have to remember it's not about us, it's about our kids (and their PRESENTS that I shopped for 4 months ago and are waiting under my tree).

Your Loving Sister

p.s. If the dear, sweet girl you married (and has birthed you three babies) ever divorces you....we are soooo taking HER side.

Wednesday, December 16, 2009

Facebook Addict

I'm a Facebook addict. I admit it. Laundry and dishes aren't  done around here because I am addicted  don't want to clean up anyone's crap anymore. So last night I posted my thoughts on my little status update thingy.

It said....Frat House Mom is waiting for the Dish Fairy to come and clean the kitchen. There IS one, right??? We have Santa, Tooth Fairy and the Easter Bunny. There has GOT to be a Dish Fairy.

I thought I was being all cutesy, silly, funny and that everyone would "get" me. I'd say most did, but I did get one comment that kind of put me in my place. I truely wish I had something witty to say in response, but I don't. If you do....please leave me a comment.

Ahem.... I quote....

"I try to thank God all the time for my blessings, including the dishes. We could be eating on disposable all the time, or only having 1 plate per person. Doing them with a good attitude shows your boys how to choose a a wife who doesn't complain! I try to use this same attitude with ironing too. I have started to pray for my hubby while ironing his shirts. I'm so thankful we can go a week or more and still have clothes in the closet to wear. Once the messes are gone, so are the kids! Savor every moment, it won't last forever.

Here are MY issues with her comment:

1 - Disposable all the time???  (GASP) She says that like it's a problem.
2 - I didn't complain in front of my boys. Only on Facebook. And if I did complain....wouldn't that help them to find a "non-complainer"? I mean, who wants to marry a complainer like their mother?
3 - I do pray for Mr. Coffee - just not while ironing. I need to get on my knees for that 'cause he needs A LOT of prayer (just kidding, Mr. C.)

It's not the first time I've been chided for being my silly self. I'm just trying to keep it real and real Frat House Mom's know that living with all guys (or ANY kiddies for that matter) is a stretching experience and that every once in awhile, ya gotta tell it like it is and be a little transparent.

Gotta go order a pizza for KNOW I'm not doing the dishes tonight. ;)

Tuesday, December 15, 2009


Something you should give the fraps BEFORE taking family Christmas pictures.....just keeping it real....

Thursday, December 3, 2009

No Penis

Can I write the word penis on the world wide web??? Oh well....just did.

I was reading another blog of a gal with boys and it reminded me of something Mocha Frap No Whip said when he was about two years old. Two year olds have a funny spin on things as I'm sure you already know.

One day I was in the bathroom (back in the day before the fabulous toilet I wrote about below).  Any mom will tell you that going to the bathroom ALONE is apparently a big no-no because the kids ALWAYS follow you into the restroom or knock incessantly while you're in there.  Well Mocha Frap No Whip followed me in there and decided that he should help me wipe.

Yes, he thought I needed help.

I guess when you're two and everyone else thinks they should help think you should return the favor.

So I explained to him I was okay and that I'd somehow manage to wipe myself. 

Then he told me he wanted to see MY penis.

Ummm...not something I'd thought we'd have to discuss when he was only two and certainly not when I was in the bathroom somewhat unclothed.

"Honey, Mommy doesn't have a penis."

"Why you not have a penis?"

"Honey, God didn't give me one."

He burst into tears and began to wail, "God not give you a penis!!!"

I tried to explain that I was really okay that He didn't give me one and that we certainly had enough penises around our house.

I don't think he could hear me above all of his wailing. Poor guy. Traumatized all over the fact that God didn't give me a penis. I'm okay with it though....really...I am.

Wednesday, December 2, 2009

A Funny Bumper Sticker

Today on one of the parent's cars (from my fraps school), I saw a bumper sticker that said.....

My honor student was breast fed.

You bet I tried to catch up to that car to see whose girls had fed the honor student.  Couldn't catch up. It was a school zone and I didn't want to get a ticket for speeding over that (just kidding, I made that part up).

I'm thinkin' I need a sticker like that on MY car. Actually I need 3 of those stickers. Yup...3 honor students, one set of girls who fed them all. I suddenly feel kinda proud of myself.

Wouldn't Mr. Coffee be thrilled to drive my car to the next baseball practice?