BBQ...anyone???

Original post 6/15/09
Since Mr. Coffee has been out of a job, I TRIED to put him to work by asking him to "fix" the BBQ. It wasn't working and I thought him being a guy....well...that he would consider that a "man's job." So I waited a couple weeks and then got frustrated one night and tried to "fix" it myself.

Blew my hair right off my head. Yup, that's what I did and some of my eyebrow too. I had an appointment to go see the hair stylist the next day - so I thought I should tell him why there were little pieces of hair framing my face. Being a man, he of course had to give me a couple "pointers" on how to start the BBQ the next time. Gee thanks.

But let me tell you, the Frat House Mom got dinner on the table that night singed hairs and all. Made myself proud. And Mr. Coffee...I don't think he even felt bad for me. In fact, when I pointed the little singed pieces out to him said, "Oh, ya I see them...they just look like gray hairs." What a guy thing to say!!!

UPDATE November 7, 2009
Since I have been busted and am no longer a secret blogger...I must edit my post to include Mr. Coffee's thoughts on my BBQ experience. He says he DID check out the functionality of the BBQ before I blew my hair off and that it was clear that I wasn't injured and therefore there wasn't really anything to say to me (and my singed hair).  My (now grown out) singed hair and I stand corrected.

The Most Expensive Seat in the House

Do you have a wonderful recliner or chair that cost an incredible amount of money, but is oh.so.worth.it?

Well the most expensive seat in our house is......a toilet.  Yup.  We had to buy a new one because the plumber man told us that to retrofit ours was just about the same cost as a new one.

He, of course, had this new kind of Kohler toilet and thought it was amazing. Yes....he was excited about a toilet.  (I guess that's the stuff that thrills plumbers.)  The plumber guy tells us they installed one in his daughter's bathroom and now none of them even use the master bathroom toilet. That was TOOO much information for me.

The plumber man also told us that he's worked on bathrooms that have had flat screen t.v.'s installed in them specifically for the purpose of viewing from the comode. Are you kidding me??? He swore that's the truth because the remote is right next to the toilet paper.

So we buy the new toilet and it cost the most money I've EVER spent on a chair....seat....toilet.  And when the plumber guy was finished installing it, he insisted that I MUST sit on it.  Right there. Right then.

Ummmmm......seriously???  Yes, he told me.  So I did....with the lid down, of course! Oh, and with my pants on.  Of course. 

Hmmmmm.....I think I might be needing one of those flat screens in my bathroom now. :)

Note to Self:

DO NOT eat chips and salsa after having your wisdom teeth pulled. It is really, really wrong in so many ways.

MORON!

Labor without drugs

I love Facebook - I'm a Facebook junkie. Now that I'm a junkie I know all kinds of stuff about people that my husband thinks is none of my business.  But.....if they post it on Facebook....then it's not being nosey for me to know, ya know what I mean??? Anywho....a gal posted her labor/delivery story and it includes that she had the baby without any pain medication. WHATT?????? 

She also included that she hates going to the dentist because it hurts.

Are you kidding me, girl? No drugs for someone that you push out of you know where, but you don't want to go to the dentist?!?

I'll admit it. I don't get that. I did labor for enough hours to know that I don't need to feel that again. EVER.  I'm all for healthy babies and happy, healthy mommies.  Pain does not equal healthy. I'm just sayin'..........

A Bazillion Months

So it's been forever since I've blogged. It's not that I haven't had any stories to share, it's that I've had a whiney, bad attitude and I didn't think anyone would find that too edifying. And I'm sure you all come here to read something edifying, huh? As soon as I figure out a way to express myself in a more positive way, then I'll be back to share. I can sum up a little of my attitude problem in just two words...sports and men. 'Nuf said for now.

Go ahead...ask me.

Go ahead... ask me how many times Strawberry Frap brushed his teeth and showered at camp this week. Go ahead...I'll wait... Zip, zilch, ninguno, zero, nada, not one time, never. That's my answer. Seriously...that's what he told me. Eeewww. Oh wait - he did say he brushed ONCE. Isn't that so gross? I didn't bother to ask him if he ever changed his underwear. It might have sent me over the edge (seeing as how I was soooo close). Now Straw. Frap also said he liked a lot of girls this week at camp. A LOT. So when do you think he'll figure out that girls + good hygiene = results ? I hope really soon.

JOB....anyone???

Mr. Coffee was laid off last week. :( It's the stinkin' economy and his company's need to cut costs. We are going to miss that company so much.

I have saved soooo much money

I decided to spend it all on me! Kinda should be embarrassed of myself. And I am, but not for spending money. I went to get a pedicure with the money I've saved (or that's what I told myself). I've been to this nails place a couple times and I've gotten the SAME girl every time - fortunately she does a very good job. Bless her heart, she is chosen to work on my nasty feet AGAIN. After she's put callus remover on my feet and she's begun to try to smooth them out, the owner walks by and stares at the ground below her, one of the other workers walks by...stares at the ground. It's my foot junk they're staring at and I suddenly feel terribly embarrassed and exposed. The last time I was there, the owner's 4 year old son walked by and stared at the ground and said, "Eeeewww!" That's right, even the four year old knew. I can't go back there anymore. I just can't. How can I? I'm sure they all discussed me in Vietnamese after I left. At least I hope they did it in Vietnamese so their other clients wouldn't understand. I'm going to have to just be one of those nail salon gypsies and go to a new place every time. Oh the pain of being vain...or just plain embarrassed.

All Dried Up

I have nothing informational, thought-provoking or entertaining to share. Well I do have one thing I could share....it's HOT! Like 98 degrees or something today - hello....it's only April. Wish the neighbors would hurry up and finish their new pool and invite my kids over. :)

Easter Morn

O death, where is your victory? O death, where is your sting? He Is Risen!

Strap Perfect

Have you seen these commercials for Strap Perfect. Cute blond, great bust line, unsightly bra strap. She needs Strap Perfect to keep her bra straps together (to create a kind of racer back bra) to keep them from showing and as an added bonus, she appears to increase her bust and fill out the great little top she's wearing. So here's me....trying to put on the Strap Perfect. Well, let's just say they won't be picking ME to do a commercial (maybe a youtube video though). One of the ways you can put on the Strap Perfect is to put on your bra and then try to clip the thing behind your back. That's the way the cute blond does it. But not me. It was taking me an extra 10 minutes to get out the door just because I kept shooting the clip across the bathroom while I was trying to attach it. Feeling kind of silly, I dug around in the box and pulled out the instructions. There was a second way to put on the Strap Perfect. This is where the video may have gotten funny. If you turn your bra around backwards, you can hook it on and then turn the bra around WITH the Strap Perfect in place and wa - la. Perfect bust line, no slipping straps. I think I took off part of my boob when I was trying to turn it back around. Anyway...I must say, that wearing my bra has never felt this comfortable (truly, I'm not exaggerating) and I think my boobs do look a little perkier. If that's even possible when you've had 3 Fraps. Like you really wanted to know so much about my boobs. I'm going to give the Strap Perfect an A+ (even though it did take me a little practice). I purchased mine at Walgreen's for $9.99 which I think is a little cheaper than what it is advertised for on TV - go on - go buy some!

No Can Do

I have been challenged (translate...obsessed) by so many blogs lately to coupon, be more frugal, spend less. Well I came across a few items I just won't spend my money on...even it saves my family money. Have you heard of them??? Lunapads and the Divacup. Lunapads are washable, reusable sanitary napkins. And the Divacup...well it goes in you know where at that "time of the month." Are you kidding me? No way. Not. going. to. do. it. With a house full of men? Like that's gonna happen. I'm sorry if I'm going to ruin the environment, but God will just have to forgive me.