Frat House Mom

The Royal Wedding

2011-04-29T23:01:00.000-07:00

She just wasn't feeling the love.......

Am I A Bad Blogger?

2011-03-02T19:13:00.000-08:00

Oh ya.....terrible blogger, but let me tell you......I love, love, love reading all of your stuff. So keep it coming!!!

In the meantime I'm going to go ice my face. Had a couple wisdom teeth out today. I'm very glad that's over! I kinda laughed when they gave me the "after your extractions" form.

* Don't drink anything hot, caffeinated or containing alcohol (I don't drink alcohol, but I may have to if I'm not supposed to have a Pepsi with a straw - see bullet point #2)

* Don't drink anything through a straw (which is EXACTLY what I want to do since half my face is numb)

*Eat soft foods (without slurping or sucking anything cuz I can't use a straw!)

*Do quiet activities that are calming (like that's going to happen! I have 3 boys and 3 dogs.)

I was hoping for some instructions for my family. Something like.....

*Be nice to your mom
*Do all the dishes, laundry and cleaning for at least a week
*Make her dinner
*Give her lots of chocolate

That didn't happen, but a girl can always hope, right???

Am I a Bad Person?

2010-09-20T22:39:00.000-07:00

Am I a bad person if I'm so tempted to spray Odor Eaters in one of Strawberry Frap's friend's shoes? The boys play golf together and since we carpool, his shoes are left in my car (cuz you've gotta put on special golf shoes I guess). It took me a couple times to realize what the distinctive odor was in my car. Holy Cow! After they get out of the car, I have to roll down the windows to get a little fresh air. I have a can of the Odor Eater stuff and I could spray his shoes and they'd dry before the boys carpool back to my house in the evening. I mean, if the kid doesn't notice that his shoes smell BAD, would he notice if they smelled a little BETTER?

Oh, I am so tempted.....

I AM THE GRIM REAPER

2010-09-17T12:46:00.000-07:00

I had to do the grossest thing everrrr the other day. I had to go buy mice for the science teacher's pet snake. My Strawberry Frap was supposed to feed the mice in his science teacher's class, but they had a substitute that day and he didn't know where the mice food was, so they died.

Eight of them.
Gone.
Apparently the snake can't eat DEAD mice, that would make too much sense.

Off I go to find real, live mice (as opposed to dead, frozen mice - didn't know I could buy frozen ones. Can't say that I really needed to know that either.)

The pet store has hundreds of mice and the little college girl sales associate asks me what kind of mice I want to buy. Umm....seriously??? Just live ones, I guess. The thought of purchasing a living thing that will be consumed by another living thing was making me nauseous. I needed to get out of there.

I tried to make conversation with college girl and distract myself from the nauseated feeling I had. I told her I didn't feel right about purchasing these little things and she told me not to worry.

"Mice reproduce every 3 weeks and have litters of 10-20."

(OMGosh! Can you imagine birthing that often and then having to nurse them all???)

The girl casually puts them in this box that ironically says "live animals" on the side. And I go to the register to pay for something that will be dead shortly.

Thirteen dollars and 80 cents later I carry this "live animals" box to my car and put them in the farthest place away from the driver's seat and turn up the radio. I didn't want to hear them.

After delivering the mice to the school office, I get a call from the science teacher stating that I didn't need to purchase the mice after all. It wasn't Strawberry Fraps responsibility that they died - it was his own.

Ugh!

A Little Potty Talk

2010-08-31T11:07:00.000-07:00

Bought a new toilet seat 6 months ago. Installed it myself today. Yeah me!!!

Chipped Tooth

2010-08-29T22:45:00.000-07:00

The summer would not be complete without one more tragedy at the Frat House. Frap No Whip dove into the SHALLOW end of a friend's pool and chipped his front tooth.

I seriously believe the only reason this happened is because another neighbor chipped his front tooth (while playing IN the water) just a few weeks before and I had thought to myself, "OMGosh kid, how could you have done that to yourself?!? Hello!!! It's the SHALLOW end. Duh...."

Yes, I thought something like that and then my Frap had to go and DIVE into the shallow end.

That's what I get. And a $156.00 bill.

Sure wish God couldn't read my thoughts sometimes. :)

Oh how I've missed you

2010-07-02T22:10:00.000-07:00

The Fraps have been out of school playing summer baseball for 3 weeks and all we have to show for it are two 1st place trophies and 22 stitches. Yes.....we have 22 stitches between Mr. Coffee and Mocha Frap.

This pretty much describes my life perfectly.

Mr. Coffee was hit by a ball during warm-ups, split his lip completely open, grossed out the kids and continued to coach the game because there weren't any other coaches at the game that night. I took him to the 24 hour Urgent Care - didn't know we had one of those around here, but now I do. Seems like a HouseMom like me should have had that information on speed dial on my phone. My bad. So 14 stitches later, we return home.

Then just 9 days later, Mocha Frap nearly severes his finger while closing a fence/gate thingy at another baseball tournment. Urgent Care again with 8 stitches this time and the possibility of losing the end of his finger.

Gee Whiz Peeps! Enough with the drama and blood - I'm not cut out for this job. Seriously....I shouldn't have gone to school to become a teacher. I should have gotten my nursing degree!

One More Day!

2010-06-10T23:31:00.000-07:00

Four more hours of freedom

before the Fraps are home for the summer.

Y'All

2010-06-03T21:34:00.000-07:00

Y'all are so saweet (sweet....get it?).

I just spent 5 days with my Mr. Coffee's grandma and 2 aunts from Mississippi and Alabama. I had to try so hard not to imitate their fantastic Southern drawls - I didn't want them to think I was making fun of them.
Mocha Frap asked me on the way to school one day if they were from Australia? He couldn't place that drawl of theirs. I tried not to laugh in front of him. Australia!!! That kid makes me laugh (and cry....a lot....but that's another blog story).

So, so sad....

2010-05-18T22:21:00.000-07:00

There are some things about this life that I'll never, never understand. I've had two girlfriends lose babies this week. One was about 8 weeks along and the other at 34 weeks. My heart just breaks for these families to lose the baby they wanted and loved. I don't get why God allows those things to happen and I know He's not obligated to tell me either. It is one of those times when I wish I could wrap my little brain around the situation and have it all make sense.

So here's the one thing I do understand....I can pray for these families. I will ask the Lord for His comfort and love to be poured out in their lives and for His peace to surround them throughout the day and night. I am honored to carry these women and their families to the only One who can ease their pain.

Yeah for Sandra!

2010-04-28T16:50:00.000-07:00

Sandra Bullock and I have never met, but can I just say.....I think this little man is adorable. Here's to you Sandra!!!

This one is ALL mine!

2010-04-13T17:43:00.000-07:00

I'm only letting you know about this fabulous giveaway because I want you to be ~~jealous~~ happy for me.....I'm totally going to win this. It's so obvious that BOTH Traci at Beneath My Heart AND Lisa Leonard want to give me something, but they need to make it "look good." Probably some legality thing I'm sure. So there's really no need to enter yourself in Traci and Lisa's giveaway. You'll just feel bad when I win and I'm really trying to save you the heartache. I'm nice like that.....

ANOTHER Beautiful Giveaway.....

2010-04-06T21:39:00.000-07:00

Traci has another unbelievable giveaway. One of her sponsors, The Vintage Pearl, is giving one of her readers a $50.00 gift certificate. The Vintage Pearl has some wonderful jewelry items and my description would not do them justice. Go check it out - you'll just love it all! And of course, leave a comment at Traci's (just click on the logo above) and you'll be entered in the giveaway too.

A Frat House Mom's Dream Come True....

2010-04-02T00:16:00.000-07:00

Traci's doing it again. She's having a $25.00 giveaway from Garnish. I've never been to their website before today and they are FABULOUS. For a Frat House, disposable dishes are a must and Garnish has the classiest "to go" dishes and bags and containers boxes for party favors and...and.... Here's just a few of their wonderful items.

For taking dinner to a friend or the new neighbor.....

Cute birthday party favors......

A picnic..........

Aren't they terrific??? A House Mom's dream. Disposable, cute stuff. I love it! Click on Traci's link and you'll be able to enter the drawing (until Sunday night) too.

.{aefilkins}.: Etsy Envy::Vinyl Decals & A Giveaway!

2010-03-31T22:36:00.000-07:00

Here's another great giveaway in Bloggyland.

Amber has teamed up with Single Stone Studios and they are offering a $25.00 gift certificate to their Etsy store. They offer some really great vinyls for your home - go check them out through Amber's blog and enter the drawing. Wait a minute.....who am I kidding??? I wanna win this drawing. Oh well...I guess you can join in too.

It's a Party

2010-03-28T23:22:00.000-07:00

Once again I'm Cinderella with nothing to wear to this party (I know...it's becoming a habit), but I'm definitely going to be there lurking in the shadows taking a peek at the great work everyone else has done.

Traci has a great re-do on an armoire for an unbelievable $100 to start the whole party. It is bea.u.tiful!!! All of her work is.

Head on over to check out the details if you have a project to link up or if you just want to be a lurker.....like me.

My Goals in Life

2010-03-27T17:05:00.000-07:00

1. Visit the pediatrician's office as many times as possible in the year to ensure that they will have a comfortable retirement.

2. If the pediatrician's office is closed, support a variety of Urgent Care facilities to spread the wealth.

3. Make sure everyone at the pharmacy knows your name by visiting several consecutive days or even better......several times in a day.

I am happy to say I've achieved my life goals in just this past month.

Gee whiz....I need some new goals.

It's a Giveaway!!!

2010-03-18T22:17:00.000-07:00

No - it's not a giveaway on my blog. :(
But it is a fabulous giveaway on Traci's blog! Traci at beneathmyheart.blogspot.com has a wonderful giveaway with Leen the Graphics Queen for $50.00!!! The Queen has a great selection of vinyl monograms and embellishments for your home. You've got to check out Traci's blog and The Queen's for more details. Join in.....

It's another fabulous party!

2010-03-17T23:12:00.000-07:00

This is an amazing party Beth is hosting at her blog. You should go by just to see the shoes SHE found for an unbelievable price. She is such a gifted shopper and you'll be ~~jealous~~ inspired.. I'm working on NOT being jealous and I haven't even clicked on the all the other gals who've added their shoe finds.

Now go on....you know there's nothing else to read on my blog....go to Beth's....quickly.

Y'All

2010-03-16T21:31:00.000-07:00

Did you y'all think I just fell off the face of the earth or what? Yes, I say y'all and I was born and raised in California.

I haven't been doing anything too fun or crafty lately. Just been taking care of sick kids, kids with stitches, and now my old sick self (*cough, cough*). Drat those sick kids!

I finally got out to Costco today and what did I see? A lady talking on her cell phone with her head in the freezer. Yup. I can't even get good telephone reception when I'm inside Costco, much less a freezer inside Costco. I'm waiting and waiting for her to get her frozen food items that aren't going to be frozen for anyone else if she doesn't hurry up. All I wanted was a box of Bagel Bites and she's carrying on a phone call. She finally pulls her head out of the freezer WITHOUT anything in her hand. Geez lady!

Bu Bye Mr. Coffee

2010-02-03T00:31:00.000-08:00

Adios.
Sayonara.
Auf Wiedersehen.
Ciao.
Shalom.

Mr. Coffee is on his way outta here....to his NEW JOB. Yessiree - after nine months of being unemployed, he's back to work.

I may be more excited about this than he is though.

You see....working curtails all of his coaching. And he LOVES coaching A LOT.

And I LOVE job security A LOT.

And I think I may love money too!

It's Cinderella again......

2010-01-21T18:16:00.001-08:00

I worked and worked and worked to get my mantel in order for this week's....

Unfortunately Fairy Godmother never showed up, so I was on my own. The first thing I needed to do was get rid of the non-mantelish items that were taking up my space. And now I'm going to do something I NEVER thought I'd do....show everyone on the World Wide Web my crap. *deep breath*

Another problem I have with this area is that the wall is two stories high and has a mirror of sorts, but the middle piece fell off the wall about....um......8 years ago. Yup! That's right. Eight years ago! I have been hoping "someone" will take the rest of it down, but alas.....nope.

And these pictures really weren't taken in 2003 - gotta change that problem on my camera.

Let's continue. I do have some cobalt blue hurricanes that I purchased with some birthday money a few years ago from Home Goods. And since I have other cobalt blue in the room, I thought I'd start with those.

Next I added a mirror that I got from Lowe's last year (for a bathroom upgrade project and lost the receipt for and is still sitting at my the house). I really like the mirror and I think it is a good addition for the "mantelfication" project for now. I'm not sure how long it will survive since it's only leaning on the fireplace wall and there are plenty of balls that fly around here.

I added another piece of cobalt that my mom gave me. (How do you tell someone you don't want anything else added to your collection 'cause you don't want to dust it???) I love this piece though - it has some nice definition to it. I don't know what it's really called, so I'll show you a close-up of it and you can help me out when you write your really nice comments for me and tell me how proud of me you are ('cause you know my Fraps aren't going to be telling me!). :)

Yes, that's my naked Christmas tree. Still standing in the living room. Still waiting for "someone" to pack it up. Someday my prince will come....

I did add a couple of items to the fireplace. The candlesticks are from Costco (from 6 or 7 years ago) and the candles are from some ritzy spa the Fraps and Mr. Coffee sent me to for my birthday a few years ago.

I think the mantel is pretty simple and I'd love some ideas on what to add without making it look cluttered. Thanks for stopping by the Frat House and thanks for your help and ideas on how to improve the mantel and fireplace area.

I feel like Cinderella.....

2010-01-14T22:50:00.000-08:00

I want to go the party, but I have nothing to wear. You've GOT to check out this party.

There are such great ideas for decorating, and not one of them is mine. But since the party will happen every week for a very long time, I might have a chance to come up with something. Or at least copy some great pictures off of other people's websites. :) Here's what IS on my mantel right now.

No, the gladiator isn't on my mantel, but the Nerf guns are. If he wants to sit there though, I'd probably let him . ;) And a few of these.....somehow no one knows how to put these back in a drawer after church. So go check out the party and be inspired. I'll be here hoping my fairy godmother comes by and gives me a hand.

The Rose Bowl

2010-01-10T21:56:00.000-08:00

I went to the Rose Bowl last week. We were given tickets by a well-meaning "friend." It was a Christmas gift and I felt like such a brat because I didn't want to go. I should say that I didn't HAVE to go. Mr. Coffee was more than happy to go with the Fraps by himself, but for some reason I felt like he shouldn't have to drive all that way alone and that he would enjoy my company. Hahaha.

So I brought along a couple friends to read during the game.

And.....

Mr. Coffee says he won't be taking me anymore. Tee Hee.

To My Stinky Brother

2009-12-26T22:44:00.000-08:00

Stinky Brother,

Yes, it's Christmas and we want to see ~~you and~~ your sweet kiddies to give them their gifts. I understand that we saw you less than a week ago and it may be a shock to your system to see us again so soon. Please don't call me and basically ask if it's necessary to get together. I will be offended and tempted to do something nasty to the food you consume at my home.

As adults we have to remember it's not about us, it's about our kids (and their PRESENTS that I shopped for 4 months ago and are waiting under my tree).

Your Loving Sister

p.s. If the dear, sweet girl you married (and has birthed you three gor.ge.ous. babies) ever divorces you....we are soooo taking HER side.

Facebook Addict

2009-12-16T16:54:00.000-08:00

I'm a Facebook addict. I admit it. Laundry and dishes aren't done around here because I ~~am addicted~~ don't want to clean up anyone's crap anymore. So last night I posted my thoughts on my little status update thingy.

It said....Frat House Mom is waiting for the Dish Fairy to come and clean the kitchen. There IS one, right??? We have Santa, Tooth Fairy and the Easter Bunny. There has GOT to be a Dish Fairy.

I thought I was being all cutesy, silly, funny and that everyone would "get" me. I'd say most did, but I did get one comment that kind of put me in my place. I truely wish I had something witty to say in response, but I don't. If you do....please leave me a comment.

Ahem.... I quote....

"I try to thank God all the time for my blessings, including the dishes. We could be eating on disposable all the time, or only having 1 plate per person. Doing them with a good attitude shows your boys how to choose a a wife who doesn't complain! I try to use this same attitude with ironing too. I have started to pray for my hubby while ironing his shirts. I'm so thankful we can go a week or more and still have clothes in the closet to wear. Once the messes are gone, so are the kids! Savor every moment, it won't last forever.

Here are MY issues with her comment:

1 - Disposable all the time??? (GASP) She says that like it's a problem.
2 - I didn't complain in front of my boys. Only on Facebook. And if I did complain....wouldn't that help them to find a "non-complainer"? I mean, who wants to marry a complainer like their mother?
3 - I do pray for Mr. Coffee - just not while ironing. I need to get on my knees for that 'cause he needs A LOT of prayer (just kidding, Mr. C.)

It's not the first time I've been chided for being my silly self. I'm just trying to keep it real and real Frat House Mom's know that living with all guys (or ANY kiddies for that matter) is a stretching experience and that every once in awhile, ya gotta tell it like it is and be a little transparent.

Gotta go order a pizza for dinner...you KNOW I'm not doing the dishes tonight. ;)

Beano

2009-12-15T21:28:00.000-08:00

Something you should give the fraps BEFORE taking family Christmas pictures.....just keeping it real....

No Penis

2009-12-03T23:06:00.000-08:00

Can I write the word penis on the world wide web??? Oh well....just did.

I was reading another blog of a gal with boys and it reminded me of something Mocha Frap No Whip said when he was about two years old. Two year olds have a funny spin on things as I'm sure you already know.

One day I was in the bathroom (back in the day before the fabulous toilet I wrote about below). Any mom will tell you that going to the bathroom ALONE is apparently a big no-no because the kids ALWAYS follow you into the restroom or knock incessantly while you're in there. Well Mocha Frap No Whip followed me in there and decided that he should help me wipe.

Yes, he thought I needed help.

I guess when you're two and everyone else thinks they should help you....well...you think you should return the favor.

So I explained to him I was okay and that I'd somehow manage to wipe myself.

Then he told me he wanted to see MY penis.

Ummm...not something I'd thought we'd have to discuss when he was only two and certainly not when I was in the bathroom somewhat unclothed.

"Honey, Mommy doesn't have a penis."

"Why you not have a penis?"

"Honey, God didn't give me one."

He burst into tears and began to wail, "God not give you a penis!!!"

I tried to explain that I was really okay that He didn't give me one and that we certainly had enough penises around our house.

I don't think he could hear me above all of his wailing. Poor guy. Traumatized all over the fact that God didn't give me a penis. I'm okay with it though....really...I am.

A Funny Bumper Sticker

2009-12-02T00:57:00.000-08:00

Today on one of the parent's cars (from my fraps school), I saw a bumper sticker that said.....

My honor student was breast fed.

You bet I tried to catch up to that car to see whose girls had fed the honor student. Couldn't catch up. It was a school zone and I didn't want to get a ticket for speeding over that (just kidding, I made that part up).

I'm thinkin' I need a sticker like that on MY car. Actually I need 3 of those stickers. Yup...3 honor students, one set of girls who fed them all. I suddenly feel kinda proud of myself.

Wouldn't Mr. Coffee be thrilled to drive my car to the next baseball practice?

Just TWO pairs

2009-11-19T23:31:00.000-08:00

Mocha Frap held up TWO pairs of choanies and asked, "Will these be enough for our trip?"

Ummmm.....no, I don't think so.

We'll be gone for seven days.

7 x 2 = 14

Let's try for something a little closer to 14.

OMGosh - it's going to be a long trip.

A busy girl...

2009-11-15T22:44:00.000-08:00

I have been a busy girl these last few months since Mr. Coffee was laid off. I've been trying to coupon more often and be a little more crafty with what I have around here. I don't have much around here to "shop" from, but I have pulled off a couple transformations that I'm proud of. Of course I'll just link up to the blogs where I got the ideas from (because taking my own pictures would be too much work). There are some wonderful blogs from some very "crafty" ladies - they attempt crafts I will only dream of. You'll be inspired.....

I've made these.....

Just a Girl - candle makeover
Beneath My Heart - tile coasters
320 Sycamore - metallic pumpkins
320 Sycamore - pumpkin plate

Picky

2009-11-13T21:44:00.000-08:00

I don't think I'm picky about too many things as a mom, but I do have a couple of requirements regarding school clothes.

1 - They must be clean and.....

2 - It can't be something you just wore yesterday

Apparently I am too picky. You should have heard the wailing going on around here this morning as Mocha Frap tried to leave the house with the SAME outfit he had on yesterday. It was as if I'd asked him to wear a skirt. Oh dear.....

Edumacation

2009-11-11T23:28:00.000-08:00

I went to school to be a teacher. I planned to be a teacher since I was in 6th grade. Taught 7th and 8th grade for 7 1/2 years. Blah...blah...blah...

Because I got a single subject credential, I never had to take the art class that the elementary credential people did.

Guess who needed to???

Me.

That's right...the one with 3 boys...the one who is up late at night making a doll out of a wooden spoon that's supposed to look like our ancestor who came from Sweden on a boat. Seriously, the man has no legs or hair in his current condition.

Alright, I was really up Facebooking, but let's say I was slaving over my kids' projects, shall we?

All I've got to say is....I better get an A!!!

I need a lawyer

2009-11-09T17:13:00.000-08:00

Strawberry Frap just told me he'd like to speak with a lawyer. Because I asked for his email password.

Oh brother! I'm just getting started. More of the teenage years are on the way and I'm sure to invade his privacy in many more ways in the future. Many.many.more.

BBQ...anyone???

2009-11-07T18:29:00.000-08:00

Original post 6/15/09
Since Mr. Coffee has been out of a job, I TRIED to put him to work by asking him to "fix" the BBQ. It wasn't working and I thought him being a guy....well...that he would consider that a "man's job." So I waited a couple weeks and then got frustrated one night and tried to "fix" it myself.

Blew my hair right off my head. Yup, that's what I did and some of my eyebrow too. I had an appointment to go see the hair stylist the next day - so I thought I should tell him why there were little pieces of hair framing my face. Being a man, he of course had to give me a couple "pointers" on how to start the BBQ the next time. Gee thanks.

But let me tell you, the Frat House Mom got dinner on the table that night singed hairs and all. Made myself proud. And Mr. Coffee...I don't think he even felt bad for me. In fact, when I pointed the little singed pieces out to him said, "Oh, ya I see them...they just look like gray hairs." What a guy thing to say!!!

UPDATE November 7, 2009
Since I have been busted and am no longer a secret blogger...I must edit my post to include Mr. Coffee's thoughts on my BBQ experience. He says he DID check out the functionality of the BBQ before I blew my hair off and that it was clear that I wasn't injured and therefore there wasn't really anything to say to me (and my singed hair). My (now grown out) singed hair and I stand corrected.

The Most Expensive Seat in the House

2009-10-27T00:12:00.000-07:00

Do you have a wonderful recliner or chair that cost an incredible amount of money, but is oh.so.worth.it?

Well the most expensive seat in our house is......a toilet. Yup. We had to buy a new one because the plumber man told us that to retrofit ours was just about the same cost as a new one.

He, of course, had this new kind of Kohler toilet and thought it was amazing. Yes....he was excited about a toilet. (I guess that's the stuff that thrills plumbers.) The plumber guy tells us they installed one in his daughter's bathroom and now none of them even use the master bathroom toilet. That was TOOO much information for me.

The plumber man also told us that he's worked on bathrooms that have had flat screen t.v.'s installed in them specifically for the purpose of viewing from the comode. Are you kidding me??? He swore that's the truth because the remote is right next to the toilet paper.

So we buy the new toilet and it cost the most money I've EVER spent on a chair....seat....toilet. And when the plumber guy was finished installing it, he insisted that I MUST sit on it. Right there. Right then.

Ummmmm......seriously??? Yes, he told me. So I did....with the lid down, of course! Oh, and with my pants on. Of course.

Hmmmmm.....I think I might be needing one of those flat screens in my bathroom now. :)

2009-10-17T00:48:00.000-07:00

Note to Self:

DO NOT eat chips and salsa after having your wisdom teeth pulled. It is really, really wrong in so many ways.

MORON!

Labor without drugs

2009-10-16T12:34:00.000-07:00

I love Facebook - I'm a Facebook junkie. Now that I'm a junkie I know all kinds of stuff about people that my husband thinks is none of my business. But.....if they post it on Facebook....then it's not being nosey for me to know, ya know what I mean??? Anywho....a gal posted her labor/delivery story and it includes that she had the baby without any pain medication. WHATT??????

She also included that she hates going to the dentist because it hurts.

Are you kidding me, girl? No drugs for someone that you push out of you know where, but you don't want to go to the dentist?!?

I'll admit it. I don't get that. I did labor for enough hours to know that I don't need to feel that again. EVER. I'm all for healthy babies and happy, healthy mommies. Pain does not equal healthy. I'm just sayin'..........

A Bazillion Months

2009-10-03T00:22:00.001-07:00

So it's been forever since I've blogged. It's not that I haven't had any stories to share, it's that I've had a whiney, bad attitude and I didn't think anyone would find that too edifying. And I'm sure you all come here to read something edifying, huh? As soon as I figure out a way to express myself in a more positive way, then I'll be back to share. I can sum up a little of my attitude problem in just two words...sports and men. 'Nuf said for now.

Go ahead...ask me.

2009-06-20T23:21:00.000-07:00

Go ahead... ask me how many times Strawberry Frap brushed his teeth and showered at camp this week. Go ahead...I'll wait... Zip, zilch, ninguno, zero, nada, not one time, never. That's my answer. Seriously...that's what he told me. Eeewww. Oh wait - he did say he brushed ONCE. Isn't that so gross? I didn't bother to ask him if he ever changed his underwear. It might have sent me over the edge (seeing as how I was soooo close). Now Straw. Frap also said he liked a lot of girls this week at camp. A LOT. So when do you think he'll figure out that girls + good hygiene = results ? I hope really soon.

JOB....anyone???

2009-05-06T20:46:00.000-07:00

Mr. Coffee was laid off last week. :( It's the stinkin' economy and his company's need to cut costs. We are going to miss that company so much.

I have saved soooo much money

2009-04-24T23:13:00.002-07:00

I decided to spend it all on me! Kinda should be embarrassed of myself. And I am, but not for spending money. I went to get a pedicure with the money I've saved (or that's what I told myself). I've been to this nails place a couple times and I've gotten the SAME girl every time - fortunately she does a very good job. Bless her heart, she is chosen to work on my nasty feet AGAIN. After she's put callus remover on my feet and she's begun to try to smooth them out, the owner walks by and stares at the ground below her, one of the other workers walks by...stares at the ground. It's my foot junk they're staring at and I suddenly feel terribly embarrassed and exposed. The last time I was there, the owner's 4 year old son walked by and stared at the ground and said, "Eeeewww!" That's right, even the four year old knew. I can't go back there anymore. I just can't. How can I? I'm sure they all discussed me in Vietnamese after I left. At least I hope they did it in Vietnamese so their other clients wouldn't understand. I'm going to have to just be one of those nail salon gypsies and go to a new place every time. Oh the pain of being vain...or just plain embarrassed.

All Dried Up

2009-04-21T23:45:00.000-07:00

I have nothing informational, thought-provoking or entertaining to share. Well I do have one thing I could share....it's HOT! Like 98 degrees or something today - hello....it's only April. Wish the neighbors would hurry up and finish their new pool and invite my kids over. :)

Easter Morn

2009-04-11T22:22:00.000-07:00

O death, where is your victory? O death, where is your sting? He Is Risen!

Strap Perfect

2009-04-03T20:19:00.001-07:00

Have you seen these commercials for Strap Perfect. Cute blond, great bust line, unsightly bra strap. She needs Strap Perfect to keep her bra straps together (to create a kind of racer back bra) to keep them from showing and as an added bonus, she appears to increase her bust and fill out the great little top she's wearing. So here's me....trying to put on the Strap Perfect. Well, let's just say they won't be picking ME to do a commercial (maybe a youtube video though). One of the ways you can put on the Strap Perfect is to put on your bra and then try to clip the thing behind your back. That's the way the cute blond does it. But not me. It was taking me an extra 10 minutes to get out the door just because I kept shooting the clip across the bathroom while I was trying to attach it. Feeling kind of silly, I dug around in the box and pulled out the instructions. There was a second way to put on the Strap Perfect. This is where the video may have gotten funny. If you turn your bra around backwards, you can hook it on and then turn the bra around WITH the Strap Perfect in place and wa - la. Perfect bust line, no slipping straps. I think I took off part of my boob when I was trying to turn it back around. Anyway...I must say, that wearing my bra has never felt this comfortable (truly, I'm not exaggerating) and I think my boobs do look a little perkier. If that's even possible when you've had 3 Fraps. Like you really wanted to know so much about my boobs. I'm going to give the Strap Perfect an A+ (even though it did take me a little practice). I purchased mine at Walgreen's for $9.99 which I think is a little cheaper than what it is advertised for on TV - go on - go buy some!

No Can Do

2009-04-02T18:44:00.000-07:00

I have been challenged (translate...obsessed) by so many blogs lately to coupon, be more frugal, spend less. Well I came across a few items I just won't spend my money on...even it saves my family money. Have you heard of them??? Lunapads and the Divacup. Lunapads are washable, reusable sanitary napkins. And the Divacup...well it goes in you know where at that "time of the month." Are you kidding me? No way. Not. going. to. do. it. With a house full of men? Like that's gonna happen. I'm sorry if I'm going to ruin the environment, but God will just have to forgive me.

I'm Sick

2009-03-29T18:27:00.001-07:00

So I've been sick off and on for the last week (on drugs for a bronchitis kind of thing), but felt I still hadn't kicked it. So I ran over to the local "urgent care" in hopes I could be in and out in an hour because the Fraps had baseball games. I really wanted to attend since I'd been too sick to go the week before. Sure enough I need another round of antibiotics and the doctor says they should also give me a shot to jump start the healing process. The nurse comes in and I begin to pull up my sleeve and ask, "Which side?" Her response, "Oh no, this doesn't go in your arm." Oh THAT side....right in the old bum cheek. It hurt! Boo hoo! But I do feel much better today. I felt kinda sorry for the nurse. I mean she had to look at my bum. Bless her heart!

Have you ever done this?

2009-03-23T22:15:00.001-07:00

Have you ever grocery shopped and then come home and ordered a pizza? I did. Tonight. Guess I was too tired from all that shopping to come home and cook. I'm pathetic. :)

Baseball Season

2009-03-21T20:36:00.001-07:00

My poor blog has turned into more of a place for me to rant. But bear with me for one more....white baseball pants for little boys. All the Fraps play baseball in white pants - not that they're white anymore (after my washing skills have been employed). But honestly - who would put kids in white pants? Obviously not the person who was going to wash them. C.R.A.Z.Y. Grass stains, mud, chili bean nachos and Gatorade spills. Y.U.C.K.Y.

March MADness

2009-03-17T22:45:00.000-07:00

Before I dated Mr. Coffee, I had never heard of Fantasy Football or March Madness. Now that we've been married awhile...I know too much. So do all the Fraps. They're all in some sort of pool together. Why is that for a few weeks time...nothing can be done in the evenings except watching games? Honestly, could we women have some sort of scrapbooking event that lasted us weeks and prevented us from being wives and mothers? Oy vey! So my point is that March MADness...is really about the way it makes me feel...MAD. We're 6 hours into the MADness and I'm feeling the need to eat a copious amount of chocolate and go to Target. I'll see you there. In the chocolate aisle. With my Cadbury Mini Eggs. Or Snickers. Or Hersheys what-cha-ma-call-its with the toffee and almonds.

You know you want some....

2009-03-05T21:04:00.000-08:00

These make me very happy - insanely happy. I need some in a very bad way RIGHT NOW! Haven't seen them??? They are these......

Is it a sin?

2009-02-13T09:25:00.000-08:00

Is it a sin to find out what Mr. Coffee bought for Valentine's Day? I wasn't looking for anything when I checked our online banking and found out where he'd been shopping at. So I'm hoping it's not a sin, but if those flowers are delivered anywhere else besides our front door, there will definitely be some sinning going on. There'll be some pain and illegal use of kitchen utensils. (Well...... you know I don't use them for cooking, so I might as well use them for something useful!) AN UPDATE: I did receive some beautiful tulips and a great night out to dinner. So no kitchen utensils were used to harm or cook during the evening. :)

Making the House Mom Proud

2009-02-13T08:50:00.000-08:00

Yesterday Mocha Frap decided to find something to wear to school since he didn't like what I picked out. He did a great job matching the shirt and pants - red shirt with gray design and matching gray in the pants. Very handsome, yet very familiar. So I asked Mocha Frap where he got those clothes from.....yes, you guessed it.....the dirty clothes hamper. Said he had only worn them a couple days ago (in the SAME school week). I tried to talk him into at least putting on a different shirt. "Oh no Mom, this is fine!" So in an effort to let my child grow up, find his way in this world and be independent, I dutifully took him to school in the dirty clothes. Now they didn't smell or look dirty!!!! We do have our pride, ya know. I always say, "We're all just one step out of the trailer park."

Stomach Flu

2009-01-27T16:49:00.000-08:00

Here's to the stomach flu which has invaded my house. Here's to Oust, Clorox, paper towels and the washing machine. Here's to my insanity - I do hope it's temporary.

Dressed for Success

2009-01-12T17:45:00.000-08:00

Today I worked in Mocha Frap's class. I went to the school office and copied some papers for the teacher. I had some problems with the copier, so one of the teachers helped me - thank you so much! I returned to class, there was a fire drill so I left early and went to the drug store to pick up Mocha's prescription. While looking at the 75% Christmas aisle, I noticed the tie on the front of my blouse didn't look right. I reached up and discovered the tag for my blouse on the OUTSIDE of the blouse. Nice.....I walked myself to the bathroom and changed. What a class act! Going to the school, the school office, the drug store with my blouse inside out. I'm sure the teacher who helped me on the copy machine thought that wasn't the ONLY help I needed today!

Cindy Crawford

2009-01-04T14:12:00.000-08:00

This year I'm saving money (lots of it).....

didn't take the Fraps to the movies - I'm waiting for it to come out on DVD.
Didn't send the Fraps to a birthday party of an acquaintance.
Keeping the house at 63 degrees - it's cold in here!
Bought Cindy Crawford's skin care system. Oooppps! I was doing so well until I saw this informercial with Cindy and the French doctor with the one-of-a-kind French melon extract that when slathered on my aging skin will make me look like Cindy. Well.....maybe a fatter Cindy.

And speaking of informercials. There was one with some great Latin music and a gorgeous Latin instructor, but I just couldn't get my fat arse off the couch to go get the phone for that call. And everyone on the informercial had the most amazing abs - even this gal who said she'd birthed 7 children. Well since I only have 3 Fraps, I think I'll just save my money on that product!

So here's to looking like a younger, fatter Cindy in 2009!

Too Much Toffee

2008-12-29T21:57:00.000-08:00

8 pounds of sugar, over 120 Hershey bars and 40 cubes of butter leaves a kitchen slippery and slimey. Whew! I made 27 batches of toffee and I'm pooped, not to mention fatter from tasting all of the toffee batches. Welllll.....SOMEBODY had to. :) Let's make something clear....I'm not a good cook at all. So when Mr. Coffee mentioned he'd like to take some toffee to give to his co-workers for Christmas I was shocked. When he told me it was for 20 co-workers (and his boss) I was too tired to think about it. But when I did think about it, I decided to be flattered - because remember I'm not a good cook (AT ALL). If Mr. Coffee thought the toffee would be good enough to give out, then it must be good enough and I'll just be flattered by the fact he asked. So I wanted to give up, but I made batch after batch until I was sick from tasting it all. Here's the recipe if you'd like to try it at home (it really is good!) Frat House Mom's Toffee 2 sticks of butter (use the real stuff) 1 cup sugar 1 teaspoon vanilla 6-7 Hershey bars Slivered almonds (optional) Heat 2 sticks of butter and 1 cup sugar over medium high heat until it boils - stirring constantly. When it begins to boil, reduce the heat to medium and continue stirring for 9-11 minutes until it begins to turn light brown. Remove from heat and add 1 teaspoon vanilla. Immediately pour onto cookie sheet and cover with Hershey bars. After a minute or two, the Hershey bars will be soft enough to spread. Place cookie sheet into the refrigerator for 30 minutes. After 30 minutes, take out and let continue to cool at room temperature for an hour or more. Cut up with the tip of a knife. Have a Happy New Year!

A CHRISTmas Gift

2008-12-24T09:42:00.000-08:00

My husband did the best thing EVER last night. He did the dishes! That one act of kindness always speaks volumes to me - that gift of time and energy at the end of the day is so valuable. It reminds me to give of myself and time to others even when I don't think it's "in" me to do so. A couple years ago I read a book called "The Power of a Praying Wife" by Stormie Omartian. There were a number of points in her book that challenged me, but the one I remember the most is when she said we (I) need to love our husband's unconditionally just like Christ loves me. Wow! Honestly that's a tough one for me sometimes (usually). But it's Christ's unconditional love for me (that I DON'T deserve) that I value the most and need to give out in return. I haven't mastered the art of loving unconditionally yet. I have a verrrry long way to go. At this time of the year I am reminded that I have received the greatest Gift of all time. The gift of a baby Boy. A Baby who was born to die for the sins of the world. God's unconditional love for me sent His only Son to earth to live among sinners to die so that I can have eternal life. It's hard to wrap my brain around that. I am so thankful for that CHRISTmas gift. I wish all of you a wonderful CHRISTmas celebrating His birth.

Is it possible?

2008-12-20T20:58:00.000-08:00

Is is possible for Mr. Coffee to lay around alllll day watching numerous bowl games? Yes, it is. And. yes. it's. killing. me. I'm trying really hard to keep my editorial comments to myself. But it's sooo hard. Honestly...when was the last time I layed around watching T.V. and someone made me dinner. That would be never. Thanks for letting me vent.

Let's Flush, shall we?

2008-12-19T21:33:00.000-08:00

I had someone over the other day - a handy man. Too bad it wasn't Ty Pennington......whoops...I digress. Anywhoo...the handy man is looking over the repairs he had made in our downstairs bathroom and I see him take a glance over the commode area and suddenly I realize when he glanced again that someone hadn't flushed. After Mr. Handy Man leaves I go and check and sure enough...no flush. I was so embarrassed! It kills me. The Fraps "forget" to flush all the time. Usually they remember to put the seat down (which is wonderful UNTIL you lift it to do your thing and are repulsed by what's inside). The only thing that's worse is when they haven't flushed and there is not one piece of toilet paper in the toilet! Eeeeewwwww!!!!!

School System Part II

2008-12-10T21:48:00.000-08:00

So I went to the school yesterday for our official SARB meeting with the SARB Board which consisted of two people....yup...that's right....two. And they tell me that my Mocha Frap has been absent 4 times. All of which were excused. They took approximately 7 minutes to share that info and then wasted 20 more minutes talking about what they would have to do IF the absences weren't excused and IF we weren't caring, concerned parents. OK, thanks for wasting my time and screwing up my morning. Really...couldn't they have just sent home a letter or maybe just called????? Unbelievable! What a freakin' waste of time! Oh and then they read off the comments from the form the teacher had to fill out. What a waste of time for the teacher - yes, their son has been absent 4 times - yes, their son is a straight A student - yes, the mother emails me and let's me know why he's absent and I send home homework with the other Mocha or Strawberry Frap. What an education system!

School System

2008-12-08T22:07:00.000-08:00

I'm so annoyed by our school system some days. I'm OK with rules until they cramp my style. For instance....my Mocha Frap has missed many days of school that are all documented and excused by the various specialists he sees at the children's hospital. So the school sends us a letter that I need to appear before the SARB Board (Student Attendance Review Board) and discuss my child's truancy problems. Are you kidding me? Like I don't know where my own 9 year old has been and don't have all the doctor's co-pays to prove it. Well Ms. SARB Board Chair....if you know something the doctor's don't and can keep my child healthy so he can come to your school everyday, then let's have it. Honestly I know the Board exists for a reason, but they're cramping my style tomorrow morning at 10:30am. I've got things to do (since I couldn't get them done when the Mocha Frap was home with me or I was toting him around to a multitude of appointments). And besides....he's a straight A student...so show me where's the problem. What's that??? Oh you don't get any money for him from the state when he's not there? Oh, I'm sorry. Take some of that cookie dough fundraiser money we've doled out in the last few years and go buy something with it, why don't cha??

G Rated

2008-12-08T22:04:00.001-08:00

Remember the cute guy in high school that smelled so good? And a whiff of that cologne nowadays brings all those memories back (my memories were all rated G back then). Well all of my G rated memories have been soured by the scent of my father-in-law. He wears all those colognes I loved and it's just ruined it for me. I can't even have my old G rated thoughts to enjoy - his mug keeps popping up! So sad really....

I need your advice

2008-12-03T16:40:00.000-08:00

I'm having a problem deciding what to do. I'm not sure if I should pay the extra money to have a pedicure done by someone who I can easily understand or pay the big bucks and have someone scrub my nasty feet who speaks clearly. A couple weeks ago I tried out a new spa and they gave my horrible feet to the care of a young college guy who was difficult to understand. I was so embarrassed for him. I'm sure he didn't go into the business to work on some old lady's callouses. He actually worked up a sweat. I saw BEADS of sweat! He kept turning on the ceiling fan and the other workers would question him (in a language I don't speak) and I'm quite sure he told them, "I'm stinkin' hot people. Have you seen this ol' white lady's feet???" I really did feel bad for him (I left him a good tip - don't worry.) My other choice is to go see the cute Barbie girl that is so nice (otherwise I'd hate her) and spend an extra $40. At this more expensive spa I get to sit in a queen-throne-type chair that's covered in leopard print where they leave a chocolate for me (and fortunately I've never sat on it!), bring me water with lemon. There's New Age music playing and a water fall, the lights are dim so I don't know if she has beads of sweat on her forehead or not. So tell me....what would you do?

Family Game Night

2008-11-09T23:41:00.001-08:00

Why is it that Family Game Night is excruciating at our house? Mr. Coffee doesn't frequently join us and initially that irritates the heck out of me, but somehow by the end of Family Game Night, I think he is the wisest man ever. The crazy bickering that occurs between the boys absolutely ruins the whole concept of family bonding and sharing. One evening, in the middle of the game, I said to Mr. Coffee (who did play with us on this particular occasion) ....."This whole family game thing sucks!!!" Yup, I said "sucks" in front of the boys - something I don't recommend doing because they will always repeat what I say in front of important people I want to impress, like the grandparents. So I'm going to boycott the Family Game Night for awhile......like until they move out!

I am the House Mother

2008-11-07T21:46:00.000-08:00

I live with 3 boys, 1 man and 2 dogs (they're girls and probably the only ones in the house who understand me!). I always said God would give me 3 boys and think it was soooooo funny. "Hey God, it's not funny!" As a younger woman, I wanted to be surrounded by boys clamoring for my attention, but NONE of them were calling me "Mommy." I used to think burping sounds were appalling. Now I burp as loud as the rest of them, but I'm always sure to blame the dogs or the kids and "lecture" them on how inappropriate that kind of behavior is. They're on to me though. I am the House Mother.